MEXIRICAN DREAMS

I am sweating while sitting at the computer. Why? I am not even moving. Maybe I will lose those 15 lbs. I gained last year. And my stomach hurts. this sucks. it's hot outside.

I can't believe it's already hot here in the Inland Empire, it's only 10 AM. It makes doing any exercise absolutely horrible because of the pains you get from sweating that much and the feel of hot air on your skin. I have never said this before in my life but here I go: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL FALL AND WINTER.

You see, I used to live in Philadelphia where it was crazy cold in the fall and winter and great during the summer. Only 90 degrees with humidity. It was wonderful, finger-licking good. Oh how I miss Philly right now. I miss the walking to my Center City apartment, the great gourment sandwiches, the subway, the bars, the cabs. The whole city life.

WHAT I DON'T MISS ABOUT PHILLY: the winter, the loneliness on the weekends, especially on Sunday, the rude people that shock you out of nowhere. I don't miss the rush, chill out people. I don't miss the horribly rich people that I taught lessons to. Some were very nice and I miss a lot of them, but those crazy soccer moms need lives.

WHY I LEFT PHILLY: Two reasons: career opportunities in Cali and my boyfriend, Jesse. My thought is that I better move here sooner than later so I can meet contacts through my university so that I can get a teaching position soon after graduating. Jesse... god I love him. I'm pretty sure he is my best friend. I get so emotional around him... he probably think it's ridiculous. Jesse was the biggest reason I left philly though... he didn't like it at all and I had my fill of the east coast lifestyle.

The East Coast lifestyle is tough and you need money to survive. You also need a hardened heart. You really need to be selfish and tell everyone to go to hell. I can't stand it. Now I don't love where I live now because there is not much to do but I won't be here forever. I want to live in Orange County or in LA with easy access to nice restaurants, good walking, beaches and tennis players galore. I like the humanity here, but the crazy drivers could be better. Everyone is in a car and they are all modified. Who cares! It's a tool not a trophy, but that's how people live their lives here.

Honestly, what I don't understand is the mexican community here. I'm mexican and puertorican but I definitely claim the mexican side. However, I have never seen so many kids with moms that are like 18. I guess I live in a dream world where everyone goes to college and has kids when it's almost too late. Their sense of community is great but also sad because they don't move on from a certain type of lifestyle. But who am I to judge, if one is happy that is the best thing that money or traveling could ever buy.

Life is funny and complicated but the people in my life (my parents, Ysabela, Jesse, his parents and my duron family) are the most important. I love Jesse so much. I feel it in my skin, it's absolutely sick but whatever I do in life I need him by my side.

This is my first time actually writing a blog and we will have to see if I keep it up. I was never the girl who kept a diary. I only kept lists of goals. I guess that started from my father. He tried to convey the importance of goals, which he learned in one of this salesmen classes.

Even though I keep huge lists of goals and things to do, not one ever comes exactly true but they can be found in that category.