MEXIRICAN DREAMS

http://grrlgenius.ivillage.com/love/

I need to fake it right now. That's what I tell people all the time. Now I have to do it!

I was raised by my father ONLY. No mom... I had to be in Big Brothers/Big Sisters so I could have some female influence.

Every time we went to the grocery store or department store, He would yell out "Do you need tampones (slang in spanish for you know)" or "Do you need brassieres (say with a spanish accent)". My father thought if you said it in spanish no one would understand. He mortified me until the age of 18 about this stuff. Now he just asks me if I'm pregnant since I live with my bf.
He took me to my first trip to Victoria's Secret after one of the tennis mom's told him it was the rage for her little girl (my buddy). My buddy was girly, jewish, rich, and fit in the country club world. I was a tomboy, insecure, no money, and barely had tennis outfits. So my dad takes me to Barton Creek (you know if you are from the ATX) and I get measured while tears are coming down my face. I am steaming mad afterwards and he tells me to choose whatever I want. I chose the a grey t-shirt bra with wire number with matching panty. I swear it took a total of 10 mintues and I just sped walked all the way to the car.

So Papi Happy Papi Day. He now has another little girl who he gets to do all the little things with and he loves it. I'm very happy for him and I will see him soon. He may have been embarrassing like the time he would fart at the grocery store and try to cover it up with a loud cough. He could never time the pedo with the cough. I am still embarrassed when he does this but now I just tell him loudly to stop farting. But he was the type of dad that trusted you and trusted your judgement. He took me to adult movies, told me about sex at 5, and made me see him as human at a very young age. He let me see the humanity in him and made me be self-sufficient since day 1. Have a glass of wine on me!

I need...

a mani and pedi from the Koreans near the grocery store.
a kick ass haircut that makes me look beautiful.
to exercise so hard that my sides hurt.
to fall in love again with running. To feel fast and in shape. To feel invincible.
to visit my family. To see my dad. To visit Austin, eat the good food.
to be accepting of Mr. Cali's family. Their lack of taste in food.
to not feel insecure about Mr. Cali's past. He was married. It didn't work. We chose each other.
to hustle at my new job. Have people love me. To think I'm good.
to get summer camps to be a hit. To generate moohlaaah!
to love my boyfriend more by being kinder.
to be more compassionate. It's my weakness.
to be more reckless, have more fun, drink more, do the horizontal hoopla more.
to get started TOMORROW!

Taken a picture naked? Yes... it's on Mr. Cali's cell phone

Painted your room? No

Made out with a member of the same sex? YES

Drove a car? Si.

Danced in front of your mirror? YES

Had a crush? YES

Been dumped? YES

Stole money from a friend? NO

Gotten in a car with people you just met? Si

Been in a fist fight? NO

Snuck out of your house? YES

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? YES

Been arrested? NO

Made out with a stranger? YES

Met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? YES

Left your house without telling your parents? YES

Had a crush on your neighbour? YES.

Ditched school to do something more fun? YES... Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels, TX

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? YES... teammate

Seen someone die? Yes... my aubelita very slowly, several months

Been on a plane? YES

Kissed a picture? YES

Slept in until 3PM? HELLA YEAH

Love or miss someone right now? YES... love Mr. Cali

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? YES

Made a snow angel? Yes in philly

27. Played dress up? YES

28. Cheated while playing a game? YES

29. Been lonely? YES

30. Fallen asleep at school? YES

31. Been to a club? YES32.

Felt an earthquake? YES

33. Touched a snake? YES

34. Ran a red light? YES

35. Been suspended from school? NO.

36. Had detention? YES

37. Been in a car accident? YES

38. Hated the way you look? YES

39. Witnessed a crime? YES

40. Pole danced? NO

41. Been lost? YES... all the time!

42. Been to the opposite side of the country? YES drove 2x

43. Felt like dying?NO.

44. Cried yourself to sleep? YES

45. Sang karaoke? YES

46. Sucked your thumb? YES

47. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? YES

48. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? YES

49. Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

NO50. Kissed in the rain? YES

51. Sing in the shower? YES

52. Made love in a park? NO

53. Had a dream that you married someone? YES

54. Glued your hand to something? YES

55. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? YES

56. Ever gone to school partially naked? Yes... omit the bra.

57. Been a cheerleader? HELL NO

58. Sat on a roof top? YES

59. Didn't take a shower for a week?

NO.60. Ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? YES

61. Played chicken? YES

62. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? YES

63. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? YES.

64. Broken a bone? YES

65. Been easily amused? YES

66. Laugh so hard you cried? YES

67. Mooned/flashed someone? YES.

68. Cheated on a test? YES

69. Forgotten someone's name? YES

70. Slept naked? YES... in the summer I have to

71. Gone skinny dipping in a pool? YES in the 7th grade with my friend Lilia. Perv saw us.

72. Performed on stage? YES

73. Blacked out from drinking? NO

74. Played a prank on someone? YES

75. Gone to a late night movie? YES

76. Made love to anything not human? NO but my friend Kiwi likes sheep

77. Failed a class? YES

78. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? Yes a salmon bone79.

Played an instrument for more than 10 hours? NO

80. Cheated on a girl/boyfriend? NO81.

Did you celebrate the 4th of July? HELL YEAH... fireworks and drinking!

82. Thrown strange objects? YES

83. Felt like killing someone? No strangling a little yes

84. Thought about running away? YES

85. Ran away? NO

86. Did drugs? YES

87. Had detention and not attend it? YES

88. Dumped anyone? YES

89. Made a parent cry? YES

90. Cried over someone? YES

91. Owned more than 5 sharpies? NO

92. Dated someone more than once? YES... what a mistake! damn philly boys

93. Have/had a dog? NO

94. Own an instrument? NO

.95. Been in a band? No I play tennis

.96. Drank 25 sodas in a day? No maybe 10

97. Broken a cd? YES.

98. Shot a gun? NO

99. Dated a married person of the opposite sex? NO

100. Written a love letter? YES

This was lame.