Wednesday, December 28, 2005
AUS------> LAX...
Usually flying back from seeing my parents was filled with excited emotions because I was going back to a city that was exciting and new. It was new to me because the people were so different than the people I knew. There was such nice mixture of rich and poor, black and white, latino and indian. It was great and the restaurants matched the array of mixutres. When I used to walk around Center City, I used to imagine where people where going with their huge luggage. I loved walking on a spring day back from Texas and having a huge luggage I pushed around. It was like I was showing off, telling everyone I get to travel, aren' I cool?!
Tomorrow I'm flying back to SoCal and, while I am very excited to see Mr. Cali, but I am not ready to see the parents or my future at graduate school. I seriously imagine myself failing out and/or going on academic probation. I have never been on academic probation. I imagine people who smoke all day or party every night get put on academic probation. Not people who drive about 100 miles a day to get to school and back. Coach at another university and then go teach at a tennis club then drive home to have a fast food dinner and try do some homework. And this occured every single day last semester. It was extremely stressful to come home to not be able to do what you want.
I am also having boyfriend's parents' issues. I really shouldn't be dealing with these issues because these are designated for newlyweds. I thought moving to SoCal and living with the parents would allow for us to save money but it has not. Instead we are paying an electiricity bill, very expensive in the summer, and half of the repairs. We also are not allowed to cook frequently in the house since the kitchen will get dirty and Mr. Cali does not want to make his parents upset. So this means that we have to spend more money on food then I normally would. In addition, Mr. Cali gives money to his mother because she has no job and the dad won't give her money either. He rationalizes that this is because we don't pay rent. Little does he know that we pay rent in many ways. Bills. Money to his Mama. Repairs. Food. Emotional distress. I am not the type of person who tries to control the other person's money but this giving money to mama makes me mad because when he gives money to her, he later asks me for money since his last $100 went to his mother. He never truly pays me back and makes me feel like I have to be on an even more budget than I already am.
I don't know what to do with this situation. It pisses me off and stresses me out. I want to exercise more but not at night like he does. It's too late for me and I can't sleep and wake up early if I follow this schedule. I feel like I have to compromise my schedule for him when I am home but what I need to do is keep a regular schedule so I can accomplish all the tasks for one day.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces but I feel us living at his parents house is killing our relationship. I always ask if they want us to leave but I truly don't think they do because we help them with the bills. What I would like to know is how do you save money when all your money is going out and not staying put?
I'm really not looking forward to driving back to the desert. I wish we were going to our new apartment from LAX.
Tomorrow I'm flying back to SoCal and, while I am very excited to see Mr. Cali, but I am not ready to see the parents or my future at graduate school. I seriously imagine myself failing out and/or going on academic probation. I have never been on academic probation. I imagine people who smoke all day or party every night get put on academic probation. Not people who drive about 100 miles a day to get to school and back. Coach at another university and then go teach at a tennis club then drive home to have a fast food dinner and try do some homework. And this occured every single day last semester. It was extremely stressful to come home to not be able to do what you want.
I am also having boyfriend's parents' issues. I really shouldn't be dealing with these issues because these are designated for newlyweds. I thought moving to SoCal and living with the parents would allow for us to save money but it has not. Instead we are paying an electiricity bill, very expensive in the summer, and half of the repairs. We also are not allowed to cook frequently in the house since the kitchen will get dirty and Mr. Cali does not want to make his parents upset. So this means that we have to spend more money on food then I normally would. In addition, Mr. Cali gives money to his mother because she has no job and the dad won't give her money either. He rationalizes that this is because we don't pay rent. Little does he know that we pay rent in many ways. Bills. Money to his Mama. Repairs. Food. Emotional distress. I am not the type of person who tries to control the other person's money but this giving money to mama makes me mad because when he gives money to her, he later asks me for money since his last $100 went to his mother. He never truly pays me back and makes me feel like I have to be on an even more budget than I already am.
I don't know what to do with this situation. It pisses me off and stresses me out. I want to exercise more but not at night like he does. It's too late for me and I can't sleep and wake up early if I follow this schedule. I feel like I have to compromise my schedule for him when I am home but what I need to do is keep a regular schedule so I can accomplish all the tasks for one day.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces but I feel us living at his parents house is killing our relationship. I always ask if they want us to leave but I truly don't think they do because we help them with the bills. What I would like to know is how do you save money when all your money is going out and not staying put?
I'm really not looking forward to driving back to the desert. I wish we were going to our new apartment from LAX.
// posted by Mexirican @ 5:07 PM 
