Thursday, December 15, 2005
I am so mellow yellow today
I have just finished my classes for the semester and I fear I did absolutely horrible in them. I mean down right awful, get kicked out of the master's program, go find a job at In n Out horrible. I'm so down on myself right now. I can't handle this shit anymore. School is tough, work needs to be busier (so I can make the mulah & save it like the little squirrel that I am), I need to have an orgasm (problem is that condoms hurt me... I know birth control but I forget to remember then I have a heartattack every day wondering if I am pregnant).
My mind goes about 100 miles an hour and I'm a master's student in sport psychology... learning how to train others to stay calm in the noise but I can't even do it myself on most days. I just try to focus on doing one thing at a time since I am not a multitasker.
These past three weeks have been a killer. I mean wake up, shower, put the pants you fell asleep in, head out the door with work and laptop, hit the courts, go back to my office try to unsuccesfully do work, go to practice, go back for class and then fight traffic to go home (the ride takes like 45 minutes). I could decide to move to Fullerton but I really don't want to because I can't part with my boyfriend even for one night. I LOVE sleeping next to him even though we never sleep at the same time. I usually hit the pillow at 12 and he's up till 2am. I love waking up next to him and hugging him before I head out face the southern california world. I thought East Coast was tough but driving here is WORSE!
On monday I will be leaving to go home to visit my family and little sister. I know it may be mean but I really can't wait so that I can be with my family and get away from my extended family. My wish is for my boyfriend to come with me but he has to work at a job that pushes his back too much- Costco. I will miss him dearly since I will have nothing to do for 10 days. I can't wait to see my family though and eat food that is homemade. hmm... food... yum!
My mind goes about 100 miles an hour and I'm a master's student in sport psychology... learning how to train others to stay calm in the noise but I can't even do it myself on most days. I just try to focus on doing one thing at a time since I am not a multitasker.
These past three weeks have been a killer. I mean wake up, shower, put the pants you fell asleep in, head out the door with work and laptop, hit the courts, go back to my office try to unsuccesfully do work, go to practice, go back for class and then fight traffic to go home (the ride takes like 45 minutes). I could decide to move to Fullerton but I really don't want to because I can't part with my boyfriend even for one night. I LOVE sleeping next to him even though we never sleep at the same time. I usually hit the pillow at 12 and he's up till 2am. I love waking up next to him and hugging him before I head out face the southern california world. I thought East Coast was tough but driving here is WORSE!
On monday I will be leaving to go home to visit my family and little sister. I know it may be mean but I really can't wait so that I can be with my family and get away from my extended family. My wish is for my boyfriend to come with me but he has to work at a job that pushes his back too much- Costco. I will miss him dearly since I will have nothing to do for 10 days. I can't wait to see my family though and eat food that is homemade. hmm... food... yum!
// posted by Mexirican @ 6:48 PM 
Comments:
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Keep your head up sunshine!!! I am sure you did fine on your finals and in your classes. We always seem to be the hardest on ourselves, don't we?!!
As for being without the bf for 10 days, I sympathize. Mike (my bf) has been in NY since this past Sunday and won't return til the 21st. While time is passing relatively quickly..I feel so lonely without him to celebrate life with. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy familia y amigos!!!
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As for being without the bf for 10 days, I sympathize. Mike (my bf) has been in NY since this past Sunday and won't return til the 21st. While time is passing relatively quickly..I feel so lonely without him to celebrate life with. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy familia y amigos!!!
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