Tuesday, April 11, 2006
shocking I tell you
Today I was supposed to have a calm day of teaching but I get a call from the library. "Where are you. I'm here at school. Why? What's up?! We aren't going to the match because Coach's brother died. What? Say that again? Are you girls okay? Does the AD know? Where is Coach? "We are going in late April" Oh okay.
Dying... god that is so breath stopping. I mean, the minute I hear someone died my first reaction is to cry. Even if I am of no relation. I tear up and feel the pain of losing someone who meant the world to you. Somebody dies every single day but it never hits home until it's right in front of you. Remember my abuelita dying... I still think of her and what she meant. I always start to cry. I can't help it. I have to. I will never let her memories leave.
But tomorow I'm the "head coach" and taking the team to Northern California for a conference match. They are worried about my driving. I'm worried about getting to the airport on time.
Boyfriend issues... I don't know what the future will hold. I love him and can see myself spending my life with him. It's up to how we handle each other and our finances. The myspace "single" thing still bothers me, it may be petty, but I hate feeling insecure. Especially when I give him money when he needs it and there are months that I can't save anything because I give him money. I feel like he doesn't realize he has someone who is completely reliable. Unlike himself. and his exes. I wish he could quit CostCo and work somewhere else. I presume it's because he's scared. He did put himself into that situation(working at CostCo forever) and now he can't work as much as he wants because it's hard on his body. So what's the next step, that's what I want to ask him. Why can't he have a plan on how he is going to work more instead of scraping by.This is what's on my mind as of lately. I worry about him.
Dying... god that is so breath stopping. I mean, the minute I hear someone died my first reaction is to cry. Even if I am of no relation. I tear up and feel the pain of losing someone who meant the world to you. Somebody dies every single day but it never hits home until it's right in front of you. Remember my abuelita dying... I still think of her and what she meant. I always start to cry. I can't help it. I have to. I will never let her memories leave.
But tomorow I'm the "head coach" and taking the team to Northern California for a conference match. They are worried about my driving. I'm worried about getting to the airport on time.
Boyfriend issues... I don't know what the future will hold. I love him and can see myself spending my life with him. It's up to how we handle each other and our finances. The myspace "single" thing still bothers me, it may be petty, but I hate feeling insecure. Especially when I give him money when he needs it and there are months that I can't save anything because I give him money. I feel like he doesn't realize he has someone who is completely reliable. Unlike himself. and his exes. I wish he could quit CostCo and work somewhere else. I presume it's because he's scared. He did put himself into that situation(working at CostCo forever) and now he can't work as much as he wants because it's hard on his body. So what's the next step, that's what I want to ask him. Why can't he have a plan on how he is going to work more instead of scraping by.This is what's on my mind as of lately. I worry about him.
// posted by Mexirican @ 10:52 PM 
